Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Randomize
