Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
