"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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