Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Randomize
