Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
