I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
