every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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