yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
