What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
