I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
