some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Randomize
