when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Randomize
