I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
