Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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