Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Randomize
