Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
