nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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