My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize