i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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