i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
