Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize