We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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