Your face is a jimmy john
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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