I can tuck mytits in my pants
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
