I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
