im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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