Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
Welp...herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize