What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
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