covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
