that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
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He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
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I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
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