Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
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I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
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I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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