we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
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