I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
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