I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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