did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Randomize
