yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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