I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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