Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
