He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
