Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
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