I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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