Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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