Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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