spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
pray to the hookup gods
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
