took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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