But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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