My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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