the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
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