plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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