Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
