Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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