i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
