She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
people are starting to question the shark bite story
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
