Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
