Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
