At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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