the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
