It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
