This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
When are your genitals available?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
