Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
