i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
